Lab Rat

2009-04-06_testing_1

I do love an odd job, and there is nothing more odd than being paid to participate in medical experiments.  Any university runs research studies like this and they're always looking of participants.  Simple questionairre or computer based tests pay about $10/hr.  In college I tried to do it just enough to cover the lunches that I didnt use dining dollars for, that way I never dipped into other monies while on campus.  Or if I planned to go to the cinema one night, I would try to pop into the psychology building during a break and catch an experiment.  It isn't a terrible sum, but if you're already on a university campus, it's a very simple ways to make some quick cash.  The big money though is in more elaborate tests like fMRIs or my gig in the ophthalmology department.  There the doctors study balance in old folks and use me as a control sample.  They sit me in a padded chair, strap my appendages tight, stick a mouth guard between my teeth, clamp my head down and my jaw up, and insert into my eyes thick hard plastic contact lenses with electrodes attached.  Then they turn out the lights, point a mechanical red laser towards my eyes, and flip on the switch to the hydraulic pumps fixed underneath the chair.  My body hurls around as I desperately track the laser with my eyeballs. I pretend I'm on some crazy mission in outer space.  It becomes a game and I actually get really into winning it.  Plus, the better I do my job, the better the control, and the more beneficial the study to the affected population.   Also, if you do a good job, they'll come looking for you again.  After a job well done at the ophthalmology lab one summer in LA, I found myself fielding calls as every vacation period approached, in the hope that I wold be returning home.  After the fMRIs you can ask for printouts of your brain, and the ophthalmology gig provides me with feedback about my eyesight and tracking ability--I might never have known I had 16/20 vision.  In addition, you gain valuable information about yourself like how tolerant you are of extraordinarily annoying beeps or how well you can block out dribble on your cheek when you can't wipe it away.  It's the little things in life that prepare you.