If you're allowed a leave of absence from the food pyramid for the Superbowl, then it's only fair to grant the Olympics similar treatment. In that vein, I have prepared myself a glass of boxed red wine from New Hampshire, a mug of freegan potato soup with frozen corn and spinach, freegan flatbread with melted cheddar, freegan spaghetti with freegan marinara, freegan Lifesaver gummy candies, and a freegan soy milk frappé with freegan Nesquick, all conveniently placed on a 99¢ tray from the Christmas Tree Shop and afront the visage of one Apolo Ohno. A night of pleasures.
